Bipolar,  Career,  Uncategorized

Dear Potential Employers

I thought I didn’t have any stories about mental health discrimination. Afterall, I had just become public with my bipolar condition only a couple of months ago. How could I have experienced discrimination when people didn’t know? Sure, I have heard insensitive comments like “my boss is so bipolar” made in my presence, the person venting never considering I might actually be living with this very real and difficult condition.

A couple of months ago, I quit my coveted, prestigious corporate job I held for years.  I also began to write and advocate for mental health awareness. I had been co-facilitating a support group at my local NAMI chapter and as I became more confident, this new empowered move was a natural next step.

From an early age, I worked tirelessly to prove myself equal or better than my peers. Bringing home all A’s, winning awards and scholarships. I went on to earn my MBA from a top program, all the while hiding the fact that I was also managing my bipolar disorder. I refused to let even myself see that it was harder for me.  I refused to see until recently that if life was a swim meet, I was competing with one arm tied behind my back, and sometimes even extra weights tied around my ankles. The fact that I was able to keep up or win races doesn’t negate it had been harder. But I continued to hide, especially from myself, because I did not want to appear less than- less capable, less trustworthy, or less lovable.  Many times in my life, I thought I would drown. I thought I had no choice but to give up but instead, I picked myself up and kept going, doing the best I could.

I have now been living well, happily for two decades after my initial diagnosis. I have had successful careers, a wonderful marriage, and a beautiful child. My proudest achievement is knowing I am a good mom, practicing conscious, positive parenting.

Everything I have achieved gave me the courage to “come out.” I needed to do my part in breaking the stigma.  I wanted to believe I had proven myself enough over the years that my career forward would not be much different, despite my new openness and my advocacy work. I was optimistic.

Unfortunately, I soon found myself mysteriously passed over for jobs for which I was well-qualified.  Repeatedly ghosted on opportunities where the recruiter initially sought me out, for which my skills and experience seemed perfectly aligned. Hiring managers were suddenly silent after successful rounds of interviews and much momentum.

I couldn’t shake my suspicion.  I am now searchable online as an out advocate for mental health. I wear my bipolar I diagnosis, past psychosis and all, publicly on my blog, Instagram, and Facebook. Though I made no mention of my mental health condition in my interviews, it is very plausible that potential employers would look me up.

Can I pinpoint to the actual reason why I was being ghosted? Of course not.

Could it have been that they found a more worthy candidate? Absolutely.

But as with any other form of discrimination, I will most likely never find out the real reason.  Just as it has been happening for decades to countless gay applicants or people of color applicants who did not receive a callback, I will never be sure of the cause. This was why I wanted to hide all these years. I did not want my mental health condition, however deftly managed, to ever come up as a possibility for discrimination. I am already a female and Asian. Now I have another factor that employers may not look upon favorably.

Mental health advocates have long recognized what we’re fighting is beyond stigma. It is discrimination. So here’s what I want to say:

Dear Potential Employers:

I am the same dedicated, hardworking candidate I was before you learned of my mental health condition. Before writing me off, please review my qualifications, glowing references, and work samples. If you pass on my candidacy prematurely, whether or not there is a just cause, you will be missing out on an excellent, empathetic team member and contributor.    

Sincerely,

Michelle

dylan-gillis-533818-unsplash                         Photo by Dylan Gillis on Unsplash