When Headlines Affect Mental Health

There was yet another shooting in America yesterday. https://www.cnn.com/2019/07/29/us/gilroy-california-food-festival-shooting-victims/index.html?

This beautiful 6-year-old, Stephen Romero, was at the Gilroy Garlic Festival in California with his mom and grandma when he was killed by a random shooter.

This photo could be of my little boy, who is nearly the same age. This is my worst fear about living in the US.

When I worked at a large liberal corporation in a landmark building in the PNW, I lived in perpetual fear of a shooting at work. My child was attending daycare in that same building. Panicking any time there was an unexpected drill, I’d fly down 7 flights of stairs, heart pounding, to see if he was alright.

As if there would be anything I could do if my worst nightmare was taking place.

The shootings just keep happening. There have been nearly 200 mass shootings in 2019 alone.

“When will it be my baby?”

Having grown up in a border state, the images of what’s happening there haunt me daily and I cannot look away. I’ve donated to RAICES, I’ve protested. I’ve written. I vote. Still, I feel powerless. Kids still die in cages my government built. I feel like I’m losing my country.

https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2019/07/border-crisis-conditions-migrants.html

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These are deeply troubling times. I don’t want to look away because I don’t want to become complicit. I don’t want to give up. I refuse to hand over my country.

But I’d be lying if I said I’ve never avoided crowded events with my son for fear of a shooting.

How do I protect my mental health and keep fighting the fight? How do I stop myself from sitting in front of my computer crying?

I don’t have the answer. I have to keep being grateful for my amazing life. I continue to relish time with my little one. I capture happy images to counter these difficult ones and try to carry on. I savor the blueberries we picked together this weekend.

Other than taking breaks to replenish myself, I don’t know what else to do. But the issues today are too important to ignore, to look away forever.

I’d love to channel the fight of this auntie in Hong Kong. Protesters in HK, how do you continue to show up? Continue to fight?

Writing is cathartic for me. It helps me release my anguish and helps me control my fears. I go to therapy and follow all my regular coping strategies.

But it is still no less heartbreaking. And I keep fighting.

Photo by @laurelchor via Twitter. “I got this shot of her yesterday. She was furious and fearless.” @GettyImages

Side Note: Why is Hong Kong outraged? This 9 min video does a great job explaining it.